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Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.
8th March 2008
4 more sleeps till my operation! Time has flown since I found out my surgery date on the 15th of February. I was supposed to be on Optifast from the day I seen Dr Hopkins till my surgery date, but it was my 30th birthday on the 18th of February so I thought a couple of days wouldn't hurt too much but it did I ended up putting on 1.6 kgs. I started off really strong on the Optifast, I was drinking over 3 litres of water a day and only having allowed vegetables, but after 2 weeks of only having optifast bland vegetables and diet jelly I fell off the wagon and had some foods i shouldn't have and subsequently gained some weight. But now I'm back into it and I'm doing really well again but I guess the real proof will be on Monday when I get weighed and measured!
10th March 2008
2 more sleeps!!!!! I got measured today and lost a few cm's which is really encouraging but the other thing that has got me really stoked is I have been weighing myself on my sisters scales and thought they were a bit dodgy but my sister assured me they were correct so I took her word for it, but the other day I was in the chemist and they had a new scale machine in there that measures your BMI and weight and body fat ect so I thought I would give it a go and I actually weighed about 5 kilos less than what my sisters scales said!! So fingers crossed that the chemist one's are acurate. My boys are staying at my sisters place tomorrow night as we have to be at the hospital at 6.30am and will have to leave my place around 5.30am so have been keeping myself really busy making sure that there bags are packed and they have everything that they need. The butterflies have started but I'm sure thats natural. I can't wait to start my new life.
Well it's taken me a while to get back online but tried to keep really busy to keep my mind off surgery. So we were at the hospital on the 12th at 6.30am and was taken up to my room, surgery was supposed to be at 10.30am but I wasn't taken up till 12.20pm which wasn't good for my nerves, I had quiet a few tears wondering if I was making the right decision, but once I seen my surgeon George, I was totally reassured again. Was back on the ward at about 3pm where mum and David were waiting for me. Was a bit uncomfortable but was feeling good, George came around and told me that everything went really well in surgery, it was all routine and I could go home the next morning. A bit later the nurses came in and gave me some morphine for the pain and something to help me sleep, and that's all I remember of that night!!!! So the next day I came home and Mum and everyone have been waiting on me hand and foot ever since, it's been nice, have had lots of time to watch dvd's and read some books which is a rare occourance so will lap that up while I have mum here to occupy the boys. Have been a little bit uncomfortable but it's been tolerable, have only had to take a couple of pain killers, and have an appointment in two weeks to see the dietician and three weeks to see Dr Hopkins, will take my measurements on Monday and see how I'm doing
24th March 2008
Ok so I have been really lazy for some reason lately, don't seem to have much energy at all, which is why I havent updated my blog for so long. I am now 12 days banded and 2 days till I am supposed to start mushie food but I actually started tonight! I am just soooooo hungry, liquids are not keeping me full. So I had two hard boiled eggs mashed up really finely, with a little curry and some mayo... it was absolutely delicious, its been so long since I have had something that is really tasty to eat. I made sure I ate really slowly and had breaks between each mouthful. I'm having a phone consultation with the dietician on Thursday and I have my first fill with Dr Hopkins on Monday which I'm looking forward too, it will also be nice to see how much weight I have lost, I have been trying to keep off the scales, though people have been telling me I look thinner in the face... yay! Can't wait for the weight to come off. Will have to start exercising soon, my upper arms are starting to get like "tuckshop lady arms" really saggy I'm worried if I turn around too fast I'll knock someone out with the excess skin.. yuck! Anyway am back to work tomorrow for the week (I only work two days a week so I get to stay home with Jack) so will see how I go and will update after I talk to the dietician
10th March 2008
Ok so I know I have been really slack lately but I have just been so busy lately, I have hardly had anytime to myself. So where I am up too at the moment....I had to call the dietician a couple of weeks ago because I was so hungry all the time and she suggested that I start mushies a bit early and that I should also have a fill early as well. So I went last monday which was the 31st of March and had my first fill. Before I had my fill I had to get weighed and I have lost 11.7 kilos since I started Optifast! I was really proud of myself... Thats nearly 4 bags of potatos (the 3kg bags)I'm so glad I made the decision to get banded I would have never lost that weight by myself, well I may have but I would have eventually sabotaged myself and put it all back on again plus some....Anyway back to getting my fill.... Well let me tell you I nearly fainted when I seen how big the needle was that they use to put the fluid in with! George's assistant Georgie must have seen the terror on my face because she quickly stood in front of George so I couldn't see the needle and before I knew it George had announced that he had finished. He put in 6mls of fluid. Then I had to sit in the waiting room and drink two cups of water to make sure the band wasn't too tight. The first mouthful of water really hurt going down. It was such a strange sensation. So the two cups went down ok and I was allowed to go home. After you have a fill you have to be on fluids for 24 hours after. Once that had passed I was back on to mushie food, but I was finding that I wasnt getting a restricting feeling after my allowed amount of food and I was hungry all the time again. I spoke to mum about it and she suggested I let it go a couple more days and just see how I went, which I did but I was still feeling hungry, so I called the Dr's surgery and they told me that I needed another fill, so I am booked in to go on Thursday the 11th of March at 12. Will let you know how much more fill I had to have, what George said, and how I'm feeling about it all.......
20th April 2008
Ok, so its been a while since I have updated and lots has happened since then! As I said in my last entry I was finding I wasn't getting enough restriction with my first fill so I had to go back and have another fill done, so I went back to see Dr Hopkins and had put on 200 grams which was really disheartening but he wasn't to fussed about my gain and he ended up making me stand up as he put the fill in and as he was putting in the fill, he made me drink some water, which was really uncomfortable but he said it was easier that way as it gave him a better idea of how much more fill I needed. So he ended up putting in an extra 3ml which was a total of 9ml all together. For the first 24 it seemed fine, as I was only on liquids, but as soon as I started back on solids.... wow....that was something different. Everything I ate was getting stuck, and initally I thought I wasn't chewing enough, so I slowed right down but was still getting blockages. That weekend we went to the sunshine coast to visit my aunty and my grandfather, and I had a bit of cheese and cracker, and I seriously thought I was having a heart attack! The pain was just soooooo intense and hurt so much, I didnt know what to do, so I tried to ring Dr Hopkins and couldn't get hold of him, I couldnt get hold of the on call doctor and I was starting to get paniced as the pain was really intensifying. My aunty called the hospital but they weren't too sure what I should do, and then I eventually thought to call my dietician Margie..... thank god for that, because by this time I had had the blockage for about 45 minutes and I was getting so paniced I couldnt breath properly.
Margie advised that I have a warm cup of tea to see if that would help dissolve the blockage and if that didnt help I was to go up too the hospital for an xray. After a couple of mouthfuls of warm tea the blockage went down, and let me tell you it was such a relief! Margie called me back to see how I was going and she advised that I stay on liquids for the rest of the weekend and she would call George and get me in first thing monday to have some of my fill removed. I had lost 1kg in 5 days which was a plus but Dr Hopkins ended up taking out 1ml and I'm going really well so far.
I've started going to Water Areobics 4 times a week which I love, its made such a difference already, and its such fun and I feel so energised after I go as well which is a good feeling and will be going to a personal trainer (not my partner) once a week, as of tomorrow. Went to Hervey Bay on thursday night for mums birthday, my sister Nikki and I took the kids which was an adventure but we had a great time, and we got to spend some time with my dad which was great,the kids just adore him! but it went way too fast, but it was soooo good to see him, as he works away and we dont get too see him much but we talk alot on the phone and both Nicole and I have a close relationship with him.
Will get David to measure me tomorrow so will report in then and let everyone know how my first personal training session went!
13th May 2008
Ok so I know I have been EXTREMLEY slack lately and not updating my site, but I have just been sooo busy lately, not that, it should be an excuse. Promise I will keep my site updated more regularly.
So, what's new with me? At the end of my last post I had to have some of my fill taken out as I couldn't even keep fluids down. Dr Hopkins had taken out 1ml and over the past 4 weeks I haven't had any restriction, and as a result I have been taking advantage of that. Eating stuff I know I should be keeping away from, like lots of buttery bread and hot buttered toast and hot milo for breakfast and (dare I say it) McDonalds.... But that has all come to an abrupt halt as I had to have another fill last Tuesday which was the 6th of May and I had only lost 900 grams over the 4 week period (not surprising but still disappointing) so Dr Hopkins put in 1.5mls (so I now have a total of 9.5ml in my band) and let me tell you I'm feeling it now! It's really hard to know what to eat because nothing seems to want to go down now. So I have been eating mainly vegetables and cruskits with Avocado and having lots of V8 vege juice, and lots of water, so fingers crossed for a big loss this month!
I have still been going to Aqua Aerobics though now I only go on a Saturday and Sunday morning, and during the week I go down to Forest Lake Fitness and have 2 Personal Training sessions with my trainer Chloe.
At first I was a bit hesitant about starting sessions with Chloe as she's younger than me and she's this tiny gorgeous leggy blonde, and I was thinking to myself , 'yeah she's really energetic but there is no way I'm going to take any crap from her'! Also I thought she wouldn't understand my goals and where I was coming from, being so big and having the band and wanting to lose so much weight, but I didn't hold back, I gave her the full story and even showed her my surgery scars and let me tell you she has put me in my place, she is the most understanding caring person, who listens to what I say and is really supportive and keeps me motivated. And I know I could tell her absolutely anything and she would never judge me but she would give me really good solution to my problem. She is an absolute little dynamo! I call her the "Destructor"! I swear I can hardly walk for 2 days after we work on my legs! She whips my butt and gets me to do things I never ever thought I would be able to do.
So that's pretty much all that has happened with me lately, my baby turns 1 on Sunday which I can't believe, the past 12 months have passed so quickly. Bailey is doing really well at school which makes life easier. David is getting ready so start training people for the 12 week challenge they are having at the gym he works for, so I guess he won't be home much when that comes around! David's brother Daniel came home yesterday from being at Canada for the past 7 months, it was really good to see him, we all missed him heaps. Mum is coming down tomorrow a couple of days before Jack's birthday so she can make his cake and fingers crossed that Dad will be able to make it down as well. So that's pretty much it... oh I've dropped a dress size which is just such a good feeling. And on Sunday we went to Wynnum with David's parent's for a picnic for Mother's day and we had to park the car a fair hike away from the picnic area and for once I wasn't huffing and puffing from walking so far, that was the best feeling. Can't wait for more like it!
5th of November 2008....
Ok so I know I say this all the time but time has just literally flown lately. I have had so much crap go on in my personal life it has been ridiculous.
Firstly the kids kept getting sick and I mean really sick constantly with purfirated eardrums which meant midnight runs up to the hospital.... Then David and I broke up, and he moved back to his parents place, which has been really hard, especially on the boys, but he has been really good coming over all the time to help with them and taking them every second weekend which was a big shock to the system cause I have never been away from my boys, but I guess it is good for us all. So then because I wvas paying so much rent by myself and with an impending rent rise on the way I broke my lease and moved into a townhouse complex.... another drama within itself as Bailey absolutely hates change. Then my grandfather died, which bowled me for six even though we knew the end was coming, but I guess no matter how long you know for, you are never prepared for someone you love dying.
And for the past 3 weeks I have been off work with what the doctors think is viral Arthritis, it started off with my feet feeling like they were bruised which I put down to my new shoes, then my thumb joint got really sore and by the end of the day I couldn't grip a pen, so off to the doctor I went and he told me he thought it was Repetative Stress and sent me off for blood tests and a xray. By Monday morning I could hardly move, it was extremely painful and humiliating as I was so ridden with pain I couldnt even take my shirt off without someone helping me. Am off to the Specialist tomorrow so will hopefully have some answers as to what is going on with my body. Now as for my weight loss..... hmmm don't even know where to begin with that one, have been eating terribly lately, maccas and chocolate and chips and dip, and no excercise cause I haven't been able to move, and have no restricition in my band either, so am not looking forward to seeing George tomorrow, but it has to be done... Will update my weight and measurements by Friday and will get back into the swing of things again... Will also post some new pics too. Hope everyone has been well... talk soon
Ok just a quick update.... Went and seen George on Thursday and had 1 ml put in my band and had lost 2 kgs which is great, so I now weigh 129.1 kgs... broke the 130's wooohooooo!!!! So that has given me new determination to get back on track. Will get mum to measure me during the week, hopefully those figures have come down as well. Now as for the other stuff.. I went to the specialist on Thursday and he told me that I have psoratic arthritis, which isn't good but at least we know what is causing me so much pain now. The only thing is that I can hardly walk let alone excercise but I guess where there is a will there is a way! Anyway better get going will update again by the end of the week with new pics!
23rd April 2009
I can't believe its been so long since I last updated my blog, but so much has been going lately, time is just flying. I have just moved back to Forest Lake into a house, I was living in Springfield in a townhouse with the boys but it was getting to hard for me to walk up and down the stairs and it seemed I was always in the car driving back and forth to take Bailey to school and go to work and to see my sister, so it was just easier to move back to Forest Lake, and I must admit, its a lovely suburb to live in and everything is so easy to access here.
So the reason it was getting hard for me to walk up and down stairs is because I have been diagnosed with Psoratic Arthritis, which is basically your immune system attacking your joints in your knees and feet, so it's really hard to do anything. I also have osteoarhritis in my back and neck, so some days its hard for me to even get out of bed let alone walk around! The medication I am on for my arthritis is pretty nasty and knocks me around a bit and I am also on two types of steroid tablets as well so my weight loss isn't going very well at the moment with not being able to excercise and being on medication. Though I did have a PT session with Chloe yesterday and she kept it low impact but still made me work up a sweat and I can feel it today in my legs, so that's a plus!
So last time I went and seen George he put in 1/4 of ml in my band, and it was so tight I had really bad reflux and night cough which was horrible so I had to call him on the weekend and get him to take some out and now I'm back to having hardly any restriction and I should have gone back and had more fill before now but I have been concentrating on my arthritis trying to get myself better so I play with my boys and do simple things like sweep and vacum the floor without having to lay in bed for two days afterwards recovering.
I have really been into "The Biggest Loser" this year so I had a look at the website yesterday and was pretty impressed with how interactive the website is with how you lose your weight so I went to Woolies last night and bought a starter pack and signed up to the the biggest looser weight club and thought I would give the weightloss program a try along with being more concious about my band and doing one PT session a week with Chloe and see how I go.
In March it was my 12 month "Bandiversery" and to be honest I was really disappointed, not only with myself but with my band. And while I know that losing 25 kgs is fantastic achievment, I honestly thought I would have lost more than that by now. And I know I am responsible for not losing as much weight as I wanted, I'm frustrated with my band, its so hard to get the "perfect" restriction and it seems I can't have anymore fill than what I already have in there, cause I get really bad reflux and night cough when I do... so where to from here is what I'm wondering????? But I need to make an appointment to see George and ask him some questions and I also need to get my head back into a better place too.
So I have made the promise that I will get back on track with my eating and excercising and also with updating my blog. So I will put up some new pictures and also weigh and measure myself and get back into it and see how I go!
Saturday 30th May 2009.
Ok so I had my appointment with the Arthritis Clinic on Thursday and now according to my doctor, I don't have arthritis in my back only in my hands, feet and legs... don't ask me how they figured that one out! So apparently the debilitating pain in my back and hips is muscular.... Dr Vechicco also decided to reduce the steriod tablet I have been on (yay) but in doing this it is more than likely that my joints are going to swell and inflame again, which takes me back to square one with my arthritis again, I just seem to be going around and around in circles at the moment. But I did ask my GP for a referral for a breast reduction which she gave me, the only thing she is worried about is that the plastic surgeon may not agree to do it yet cause I'm still losing weight, but like I said to her I will just have to plead my case. I've always had big breasts. Even when I was slim. I have never been smaller than a d cup. So fingers crossed they will just do the reduction for me......
So back to losing weight..... I have no restriciton in my band at the moment and i'm pretty sure I have close to 11mls in my 12ml band, (will check that for sure on Thursday when I see George). Have been chatting to a few girls on the lapband forum and they suggested that I ask George to take the fill out to see if it matches the amount he has put in just to make sure that I don't have a leak in my band, which might be a reason why I have no restriction. Though it could also do with the fact that I haven't been excercising because of the pain I get with my arthritis and I also haven't been watching what I have been eating either. Its horrible when you get into a bad head space. It takes so long to get out of it! But I really need to pull my head in and get back into the game. I want to feel good about myself again and I want to be able to take my kids to the beach and to wet and wild this summer and there is no way I will be doing that if I'm still as big as this.
Another thing is I would really like to have another baby, and I would love to know what it is like to have a pregnant belly instead of a mushy fat belly and for people to know that you are pregnant instead of looking fatter.
So I'm just going to take each day as it comes and have promised myself that I won't be too hard on myself, I'm my own worst enemy.....
So as I said I go to see George on Thursday the 4th of June at 10.15 and hopefully he will be able to help me get back on track. Will update then and let you know how it all goes
Oooooookkkkk........... Well not off to a good start. Had my appointment with George today and cried when I got off the scales, I have put on 4.8kgs in 2 months. So I'm now 132.5kgs. I'm soooo disappointed in myself. But George said I'm doing well considering I can't excercise, am on steroid tablets and have no restriction so that made me feel slightly better. So he put in 1/4 of a ml to see how I go with reflux and night cough, and he made me promise to go back in two weeks for another fill. So I have vowed to be really good from now on and get back on track. I had mushroom soup for dinner tonight and I will start back on Optifast tomorrow. Now I just have to find a way to excercise without pain and exhausting me... Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!
